About Bossy Girl Leadership
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Bossy Girl
Kristal, the Bossy Girl
Kristal, the Bossy Girl made her debut in 2016 with a novel idea to redefine BOSSY and help women to own all of their power. This idea became a movement, a wave, that has been adopted by everyone it touches. She is now a renowned motivational speaker, thought leader, influencer and leadership authority, and an up-and-coming best-selling author.
Kristal has motivated leaders to change their lives by discovering their full power while building maximum influence. As women, we are so often not seen or heard. People do not understand all that we have to offer or what impact we bring to the table.
I know what it’s like to feel like you are not enough. I also know what it’s like to live every day without feeling happy, almost ready to give up.
At only 40 years of age, I had already survived a life changing car accident, recovered from a traumatic brain injury, lived through a devastating divorce, nearly lost my home while learning to read and write again, escaped an abusive narcissist, and was a single mom of two; barely able to survive.
I was charged not to think and only color in coloring books. I was depressed and could no longer accept the position of those around me who believed I needed to settle for “good enough.” The doctors called me bossy, and I knew that they were exactly right. After months of literal darkness, it was time to fight back. Against all of it! Regaining my power was my only way out of this nightmare. I was finally ready to be proud and STAND!
Luckily, this tragic period of my life led me to discover a unique philosophy of wholeness that provides a step-by-step guide to healing your past while courageously learning to love yourself and others with grace. This may not sound bossy, but it IS BOSSY! (do you see what I did there? When it’s capitalized, it’s the new definition!)
I knew it was time to use what I had learned through times of tragedy, my Master’s degree in strategic leadership, and my 15+ years as an acclaimed leadership development facilitator. I developed a unique life-transforming leadership and influence program for women that starts with a deep look in the mirror. A look in the mirror that is not and should never be done alone.
The Secret
I’m very excited to share with you why I’m so passionate about this movement, this wave of women who are looking deeper into themselves so that they can hold the world’s most life-changing influence and leadership secret…
You see, I was a cocky, power-hungry, naïve 20 something when I was offered the choice of leadership. You heard that right. The CHOICE of leadership… it was the most transformational experience I ever had. It was painful, like crawling across the desert with no water. It was a release of everything I THOUGHT I knew. It was my rebirth. One choice changed my soul and provided the ability to gain the influence needed to fulfill my purpose and make a difference in the world. My life finally had purpose beyond me, and my education gave me the ability to help others apply it to themselves.
I went on a journey and learned that the most successful organizations and leaders across the world already knew these secrets. Well, many believe they know, few can consistently practice the skills that ensure relentless followership and mission accomplishment. Through many years of practice, facilitation, research, and failure; I uncovered the secret. The one that works EVERY TIME!
Maya Angelou
“The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.”
The more I learned, the more I knew that I had to share these truths with women across the world. I felt truly called to share so that we, as women, are more seen and more heard. So that we have the tools to overcome the advantages that we are not given automatically. More than anything, I felt called to love you so that all of you would love my daughters when the time comes. And so that it is automatic that others would love you and your girls. Full truth – I felt called to share so that we women would love each other! So that we would see an ally in each other, NOT an enemy!
I understand that everyone believes that leading and loving is something that we can just do. It’s something that we should just know! And goodness knows we can’t ask for help or admit that what we are doing isn’t working. We can’t admit that our marriage is falling apart, or our children aren’t listening, or that we are just waiting for the day that someone will find out that someone else could do our jobs better than we can. What if we aren’t the perfect mom with the monthly social media post? What if we gained a few pounds? What if there are too many plates spinning and one just fell??? SO WHAT!?!?!?!?!
What might you be able to do with the tools that prepare you to love your authentic self? How might life be different if your influence was undeniable?!?!
The Worldwide Women’s Wholeness Wave will…
Help you courageously look in the mirror and love your authentic self.
Help you create relentless followers that make you a better person.
Help you uncover and move into your true purpose.
Help you provide unconditional love and acceptance to all you touch, including yourself.
For me, when I dug deep and used the tools to become truly grateful for all of the challenges and scars, I began to heal. I started to see the hard path toward authenticity. I started taking notes and sharing with women that I trusted. I saw that this was a map to purpose and deeper influence. I saw that this map could get us to a place that would abolish the roadblocks and ceilings that had stopped us before. I saw that tomorrow didn’t have to be the same as today. For you or for me.
I used this motivation to heal my brain in a very challenging master’s program that I used to focus on researching women in positions of influence. What made them different? Why were they able to rise above the statistics? What was the SECRET!?!?!
I mean, let’s be real… in today’s Amazon and Walmart driven society, the success rate for small, startup companies in the United States is dismal. 50% of small businesses fail by year five. The chance of success for a woman-owned small business is even worse! With these statistics it is unclear why women would dare take any risk.
Complicating matters for women leaders is that leadership roles and traits are more often associated with men than with women. Even though more than 50% of the United States population is female, and they have earned more than 50% of the advanced degrees and make up more than 50% of the college educated workforce, successful women business owners and leaders are still seen as an anomaly. Take a look at these statistics and tell me that I’m wrong:
- Women are just 5% of Fortune 500 CEOs – down from a record high of 6% in 2017.
- Women are only 7% of top executives in the Fortune 100 companies.
- Women constitute 61% of accountants, 53% of financial managers, and 37% of financial analysts, but are only 12.5% of chief financial officers.
- Women represent 18% of governors.
While the adversity faced by women vying for top leadership positions may be less obvious than in the past, many still associate men with power. Even so, I’m the Bossy Girl! I was ready to rise above the thoughts and biases of others!
I started Bossy Girl Leadership in 2017. The organization was developed out of necessity after a severe car accident left me with a traumatic brain injury. The need for balance of career and recovery was the priority while building a future based on purpose and passion. With nothing left to lose and a fighting spirit that inspires trust and never quits, Bossy Girl Leadership was born.
My purpose in life is to redefine the word bossy in the English language so it is no longer used as a tool to silence women’s voices or dull their shine. I’m fully aware how crazy it is to call myself and my company such a nasty word. It’s off-putting. It makes everything harder. That’s okay. The truth is, I AM the Bossy Girl. And I’m not bossy, I’m BOSSY. I’m proud to tell you that. More than that, I believe if you stick with me, when you see what I really mean by Bossy, you’ll feel the same way about yourself.
Calling ourselves Bossy Girls and the Bossy Brigade is catchy, but more importantly, it has the potential to shift the paradigm of what “bossy” women actually are. Often “bossy” is used to define a person who is bold, goes after what they want, is determined, is mission focused and… female. WHY IS THAT SOMETHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!?!?! It is time to own the word “bossy” instead of banning it, as Sheryl Sandberg aimed to do on BanBossy.com.
The truth is that often women just can’t win. On one hand, we’re too bossy or aggressive, on the other hand, we need to be more confident and own the room. Which one is it??? If we are nurturing and democratic, we aren’t competent. If we lead with our intellect and logic, we are cold and unlikable. What do you want from us!?!?
After such careful contemplation and shaking in my boots quite a bit, I decided that if I was bold enough to be labeled as “bossy” and was also a symbol of love, collaboration, and true leadership; paradigms would shift. We could answer the question together about the balance of being a woman of influence.
My research was significant and uncovered many uncomfortable truths. By examining how one group of influential women experience the world and what they have in common despite their differences, the research provided a key for ‘how to’ rise above what is normally expected for women in similar situations. The similarities provided a map to answer how we can own all of our power and rise above the possible ceilings in place.
Included in the results are eye-opening research statistics that demonstrate the prevalent commonalities between the diverse group of participants. The participants were college presidents, doctors, attorneys, business owners, and leaders of significant women’s movements. The responses were eye-opening and life changing. Just a small sample of the findings are listed below:
91%
of all Baby Boomers interviewed stated that a male figure in their life was responsible for supporting and recognizing their potential. (Almost ZERO WOMEN MENTORS!)
80%
of research participants reported a self-acknowledged understanding of their leadership ability and a deep knowing they were meant for more. (Our PURPOSE IS CALLING!)
45%
of research participants mention needing to emulate men to be successful. (Let’s LEARN TO LEAD AS WOMEN!)
35%
indicate that women are consistently limited by their need to please others. (What would happen if you learned to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!?!)
20%
reference the term “imposter syndrome” that refers to woman’s fear that she is not actually qualified, but instead pretending and that one day she will be unmasked. (Really!?!?! I dare you to find someone who would do it better! YOU ARE AMAZING!)
32%
suggest that the rise of the Millennials has and will increase the representation and respect of women in the workplace. (We can raise that percentage, but we must BUILD COMMUNITY WITH OTHER WOMEN!)
85%
believe that women do not have the confidence or feel worthy enough to invest in themselves but will invest in others. (Are you MODELING THE WAY of leadership for the other significant women in your life???)
35%
reported that women are each other’s greatest challenge. (This just makes me sad, but unfortunately it can be so true. We can do better! Together, we will build a TEAM OF WOMEN BELIEVING IN EACH OTHER’S BEST!)
The resounding “ask” of the women interviewed was this, “share these findings widely and empower strong women to exceed their potential!” Unfortunately, history still limits global acceptance of women in leadership, but it doesn’t need to stay that way!
Often the workplace can feel isolated, hostile, with no community of support. It can feel like a place that will churn and burn the women who are willing to do it all. It can feel like a place that is trying to steal what you believe in, while expecting perfection and unlimited performance. Even more so, you may feel judged for choosing motherhood as a first priority or not having children at all and choosing a career over motherhood. The anger and frustration is real. There is no RIGHT answer.
One thing I discovered and know for sure is this – we women want to be seen and heard and are willing to be strong and vulnerable to make that happen. If we can create stronger support of women, by women – WE WILL WIN, but we have a long way to go.
It is time to live in a world where we are no longer saying “I have to lead differently because I’m a woman.” The man’s role in the workplace is clearly defined. All they must do is follow the steps and they are not only expected to succeed, but they will. We don’t have the same map, but we CAN create one.
We Will Win
Of course, there are roadblocks, hard roads covered with adversity. With each hurdle, the number of women who are willing to make the necessary sacrifices to overcome it lessens. There are consistent limitations, not just at the top, but the entire way through. As not only a woman, but also a business owner, and most importantly the mother of two beautiful young girls, I am left to ask the question; what can we do right now? How can we all make a difference in the rise of women seeking to influence the world for the greater good?
Using the power of the research before me and my heart, I believe that we can all start by making just one choice. If we make just one choice to move in the direction of owning our power, this world can and will be a better place not only for us as women, for our daughters, and for our organization – but also for our son’s, our colleagues, and our partners.
Every time you choose the hard path of looking in the mirror, owning your power, and using your influence for good, you light the path for other women to do the same. Today, I am unapologetically asking you to make a choice, with me, and with all women, to walk hand in hand in love and leadership.
Often women are not willing to invest in themselves – don’t let that be you. You don’t have to fight this battle alone. I’m reaching out my hand to you. Pick a path and we will discover the Yellow Brick Road together. Yes, it will have its share of flying monkeys and wicked witches, but together, we are stronger. Endless possibilities and purpose await. Look beyond… you are out there!
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Bossy Book PDF Worksheets
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Weekly Zoom meetings with The Bossy Girl
Facebook Community Membership
Access to all Video Modules
Personalized Coaching Chat
Mini-retreat
Signed Copy of the Beautifully Bossy Book
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Bossy Book PDF Worksheets
Monthly Newsletter
Weekly Zoom meetings with The Bossy Girl
Facebook Community Membership
Access to all Video Modules (Coming Soon)
Personalized Coaching Chat
Mini-retreat
Signed Copy of the Beautifully Bossy Book (Coming Soon)